I’ve gone down with another bug. I had quite severe viral symptoms for a week about four weeks ago, which subsided a bit, but I am unwell again. The symptoms are slightly different, so it might be a different bug, or it might be a resurfacing of what I have before. I’ve noticed that before, that if I get some symptoms of a bug they can bump along for weeks and weeks, which I think is a sign that my immune system is not up to par. However, at other times, I noticed that I never seemed to get any bug that was going around. Someone pointed out to me that this is a symptom of a highly compromised immune system, as the symptoms of a bug – temperature, sore throat, runny nose, etc – occur in fact when the immune system is dealing with and overcoming the virus. As my immune system wasn’t doing this, I wasn’t experiencing these symptoms, and instead just felt utterly washed out for months on end, which I had thought were a relapse of CFS symptoms. So, I am glad to get some viral symptoms now – although of course I’d rather avoid viruses completely – as it indicates that my immune system is performing better now, since I moved to the country, than it was before.

However, it is a major bore to be laid low for so long, and I have battled with low mood at some times. This hasn’t become as overwhelming as it has in earlier times, which I take as another positive. And the environment I’m in continues to buoy me – it is light, airy, quiet, and my garden is starting to produce tasty food for me. My lover is coming to see me for the weekend; I wasn’t able to get to visit her this week for my birthday – I was lying on my sofa, moaning instead – and it’ll be lovely to see her. The way she has dealt with such acceptance with my fluctuating health, and the fact that for long periods of time I’m able to do little with her and don’t feel I’m that great company, has been a boost for my morale. She is incredibly easy company and never really increases my stress levels. I feel I’m very lucky to have her around.

At the moment I’m enjoying the cricket – the Ashes series – and trying to look after myself so I will hopefully be back in better form soon. It has been difficult to sleep properly, which has run me down more. This is something I need to crack.